Today is Abe’s 4th birthday! He has been in our family for just over 3
weeks. Being home is great! He requires a lot of supervision, just like
any toddler, but he is adjusting well to Alabama living. He gets a huge kick every day out of going on
a new adventure, whether park, grocery store, or library, and he knows that the
van is the ticket to the new place or new thing. We try to balance something new with a lot of
familiar each day, so that he can be as secure as possible as he is also still
growing and learning about his new life.
He loves the outdoors, and he loves water!
The big issue for kids and parents in the first few weeks
and months is “bonding” or “attachment.”
This is getting a child who has had multiple caregivers who hasn’t had a
concept of ‘family’ or ‘parents’ to begin to understand that his new Mom and
Dad are the special people in
his life who will take care of him. For
3 weeks in, Abe seems to be attaching well to our family. He will hold eye contact at times, he plays
well, he mimics us and the kids, and does other kinds of fun stuff that
suggests that those connections are forming well in his mind. When a stranger (to him) is in our house, he’ll
still go to them with too much familiarity, which is a habit of children who
have had multiple caregivers and no parents , but generally we can see that he
is beginning to realize that he belongs with us.
This past Sunday Melissa, Amelia, and Eli went to church
while Abe and I stayed home. When they
left he got upset and cried. I thought it might help him to review the last few
weeks and be reminded of what has gone on and that he is with us now and this
is his home. I put the camera’s memory
card in the computer and we scrolled through the last few weeks of photos. I was shocked to see how much he has changed
in just 3 weeks. Check out the
difference in these 2 bath pictures, taken only 3 weeks apart:
We have a prayer request for today: last night Melissa brought something up and I
was blessed by the compassion in my wife’s heart. She reminded me that the few things we learned
about Abe’s abandonment in Shanghai suggested that his birth mother wanted to
keep him but could not care for him due to his cleft lip and palate, and so she
left him where she hoped he would be found and cared for. I am sure that today, on his birthday, she is
remembering him and wondering about him.
I cannot imagine what she is feeling.
Please pray for her, that Jesus will draw her to himself and give her
faith and assurance that He has provided for the son she could not keep. Please pray for all the parents and children
in this broken world who do not have the families they need.
Please also continue to pray for Abe’s healthy attachment to
our family, as well as for him to be able to physically manage the phenomenal
growth (both in body and mind) he is experiencing right now. Three weeks ago he didn’t know what to do with
a ball. Today he caught one tossed at
him. Three weeks ago he stuffed food into his face
with velocity. Today he tried to mimic
our “take a bite, chew and swallow, then chat a bit before the next bite” pace
at the table. Three weeks ago he would
not be comforted when time for sleep was here.
Today he fell asleep peacefully at nap with his bear after being sung to
by mommy, and we’re at about 75% success with that. He has already gained at least 3 pounds. Continue to pray for his resiliency. Thanks so much!
Birthday pic!
